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Vinny Cracchiolo's Midtown Madness Site

REVIEWS | SCREENSHOTS | MESSAGE BOARD

April 2nd, 2003

It has been a while since an update because I moved to Chicago for a year. You have no idea how hard it was for me to not drive through the park chasing pedestrians or not jumping the bridges. Try explaining those incidents to the cops I was trying to outrun and maim.

My bad humor has generated a few complaints in the past on this site so I am trying to be more well behaved. Midtown Madness 3 is finally getting closer to be released. One of the new cities is Washington D.C. One of the new vehicles is a 747 that can be driven into the pentagon.

October 7th, 2001

I eventually got the original Midtown Madness running on a Pentium IV by using a patch from Microsoft that is not available on their site. Good times. So I was finally able to take the Bluesmobile out for a drive and it rocks. Not sure why this was not made earlier since there is an obvious connection. But Blues Brothers fans are cool even if they are latecomers.

In other news, Microsoft has delayed the release of Midtown Madness 3 so that they can edit the World Trade Center.

March 4th, 2001

Yeah it has been a while since I updated, and no it is not because Midtown Madness is so addictive I cannot tear myself away. In fact I found it pretty boring and have not played much of it at all. San Francisco is a pretty boring city, and the only thing that makes London fun is people driving on the wrong side of the road. Of course some genius made a patch that puts them on the right side of the road. Anyone want to make a patch for San Francisco drivers to switch lanes? That will really make it worth the long load times.

I also wanted people to know that I am now working on my own version of a Dale Earnhardt car. It only turns left, and before you can finish a big race it crashes into the wall.

October 30th, 2000

Well, my time is spent playing Midtown Madness 2 which has heightened my blood pressure to previously unrecorded levels, so the Mobile Home is currently on hold. Someone tell me when the vck is available for this game. Hopefully my state of calm will be returned enough by then before attacking Studio Max.

August 12th, 2000

Major news update for the Mobile Home everyone is waiting for! The headlights almost work! I might have this thing released while someone who actually gives a damn still cares!

Midtown Motors is actually back online most of the time when you go there now! And check this guy's site out too.

June 6th, 2000

Oh my gosh someone went and stole my site design! I want everyone to know I take myself VERY seriously as a graphic artist, and even if I have never been in contact with a patent office or copyright establishment I am going to prosecute to the full extent of the nonexistant internet law. Whoever said that copying someone's work is a form of flattery must not have been as egotistical as I am. So instead of updating on this site I am going to whine about myself. I mean obvioulsy the mere notion that someone would steal my design is enough to dignify the claim that I am truly a graphic artist that knows how to design web pages that do not consist of huge graphic backgrounds so people have to wait for it to download. So whoever stole my design(you know who you are), even though your site may have nothing to do with mine and does not truly effect me in any way, I hope that you know that I am going to contact my webmaster, and you're going to get in trouble!

The Offroad Suburban is friggin' awesome, and the Peugot would be great if it was not a Peugot. And if it had more than one color available. I mean, can it really be that hard to make more than one color to choose from? At least I cannot complain about the A-team since it was only one color; I just hope that I get to see some crappy license plates on it.

I also now know more about the pains of people cheating on the multiplayer games. It really is not that hard to quit a game and start a new one, perhaps password protect it, but I am more sympathetic to the tweakless movement now.

May 26th, 2000

Welcome back to life Midtown Motors. Nice site redesign and since I have not had time to look it over completely I have nothing to complain about for once. I am sure some people will still find the site HIGHLY offensive since it dares to link to websites who have access to tweaked cars. I am still not sure how that can ruin my experience with the game. I wonder if my site is forbidden since I have a link to a site that contains a link to a site that has tweaked cars. The result will be posted soon. As well as a wonderful review of the new car for everyone's favorite game: Midtown Rally Madness!

May 11th, 2000

Let's all wait anxiously for Midtown Madness 2 so that we can actually have some decent new cars. You can now leave messages on my bulletin board so flame on. Since the UK site has died and started to really smell I have been going to the Midtown Madness Zone to get my updates. Of course there are lots of other sites to visit that keep me stocked with lots of ammunition for this page. Does anyone know how to get editable versions of the cars in the game out of the game and into 3D Studio Max? Oh yeah, and don't drink and design.

April 29th, 2000

I just also wanted to make sure that it was clear that once I do release my Mobile Home it will only be available here. No one else is allowed to post it on their site since it does not make sense for it to be convenient for people to be able to download Midtown Madness cars in one place. They should be made to hunt for them and weed through dead links.

April 27th, 2000

First of all, whoever is stealing my cars off my beta page I want you to stop right now. I do not make cars so that other people can drive them around; I make them purely for my own selfish intentions that make me much better than anyone else who plays Midtown Madness.

Now that the production of new cars has grinded to a standstill for a number of different reasons, it is always exciting to read about the cars that are under devolpment. If we all cross our fingers we may just yet get another rally car(those cars are just so perfect for driving around a city), and if we are really lucky it will only have one choice of color.

I have also decided to remove all links to any pages that have tweaked cars. I am going to be a complete baby about this so don't think of complaining to me. Too many people are changing the cars from the original programmers released version which completely distorts the vision of having only crappy cars for this game.

The funeral for the Midtown Madness review site will be held as soon as anyone can be found.

If you want up-to-date release information about this game just come here where you can read all the things I bitch about since there is no release information. Who really wants to drive around Chicago anymore?

I see someone took me seriously about making a skateboard so this is where I am going to make another ridiculous claim to test the gene pool of MM players out there.

Coming Soon! The big release of my long awaited Mobile Home! How many oversized load signs have you seen and really wished you were the one driving that house down the street? Now is your chance to shake that big ass down the road into oncoming traffic. I am going to be gone for the weekend so don't expect an update for at least a month. There will be a release sometime next year where I will have a party in which I do not show up. Then I will start work on a battering ram for those that just can't get enough of pushing other cars into the water.

New Guidelines: If you are planning on making a Midtown Madness website please make sure that you are a terrible speller, terrible typer, have difficulty in constructing sentences, and get your panties in a bunch very easily. This of course disqualifies this site so leave now.

March 15th, 2000

I have been complaininng a lot lately since there have been so few cars released, and I have become so increasingly bored with the city of Chicago. So now that there have been a few beta cars released I must say to everyone developing a car: please take your time. It is one thing for me to have to wait forever to get a new car, but another thing entirely when it is a complete waste of a download. Certain betas are not bad, but there are a few important things. Being able to drive straight is a great benefit. A car that is remotely interesting greatly enhances its desirability. And lastly, please remember that if you insist on setting a release date for a car you are working on, everyone already knows that you are a big fat ugly liar and will release it whenever you actually finish it.

February 25th, 2000

Well I finally got to play with 3D Studio Max and I can see why there have been so few custom cars released. I figured out what about 3 of the buttons do. But I did press all 112 of them. So I think my first project will be a nice skateboard since that is on the top of all the wishlists I have seen. And I am going to put my own logo on my skateboard and no one else is allowed to touch or modify my skateboard in any way, but you can redistribute it as long you as you keep it with a nice file I write dwelling on my own ego.

Instead of putting any cars/utilities/links I'll just say go to the UK Midtown Madness site since they keep up with most everything relevant on an almost timely basis.

My best tip for people who love to cruise would be that cops cannot follow you through the art building. So once you drive through the wall they very politely wait for you on the other side. It is at this point that I make sure to get my speed above 100 before returning and smashing them to smithereens. There is a screenshot of this below, but I recommend attacking from the opposite side.

Reviews

Here are my personal reviews of some of the vehicles worth reviewing and some that aren't:

Big Foot Monster Truck: This is the ultimate vehicle. I am glad that someone finally went and fixed the glaring problems it had. I cannot drive without having my finger on the horn button so this was very difficult to drive with its initial release. Now I can very politely warn people with my air horn before sending them over the median into oncoming traffic.

Delorean: Nice custom sounds and great attention to detail so it is great until the initial newness wears off.

Dodge Viper: This is a steaming pile of crap.

Escort RS: I have never in my life seen an escort like this so I let it sleep with the fishes.

Ferrari: This thing hauls; those coppers don't have a prayer. (See pics below)

General Lee: This has been very well done though I am not sure it was worth the wait. You can barely hear the dixie horn so I am not sure why it was included. It is very accurate to the TV show though I am struggling to remember them having two license plates, both of them being some frivolous advertisement.

Jeep Wrangler: This vehicle has been so well done that whenever I am behind a real Jeep in real life I have to fight the urge from pushing him into the middle of intersections.

Jensen Convertible: Yet another steaming pile of crap that will forever stay in my backup folder.

Lotus Espirit: In keeping with the grand tradition of the Viper, Jensen & Escort, this car bears little resemblance to anything fun to drive.

Mitsubishi: This car is extremely well done: great texture, great sound, great horsepower, wonderful handling. But it's a friggin' Mitsubishi! Who really cares?